Weigh in!

Weigh-in today & I'd lost 1.5lbs, taking me to 13:2.  That's a good result, considering it was a stressy week and I had a lot of chocolate and treats thrown at me!

I did what I did last week, just tried to follow the 'inner voice' and only eat when I was hungry. Not always easy, but that's  nearly 5lbs in 2 weeks, so I'm ok with that!  

Looking forward to week 3!

Avoiding the camera

For as long as I can remember, I've avoided the camera.  I tell people that I 'hate having my photo taken' but the truth is, I don't mind at all...but I do hate seeing myself in photos.  My obvious discomfort plays out in the picture too, so by trying to suck everything in or stand in a 'slimming pose' (like, what is THAT?!), I just end up looking silly.

But the end result is years of family pictures without me in them or loads of holiday snaps of wonderfully exotic locations...but I'm nowhere to be seen.  Kinda sad really and ALL because of a few extra stone in weight.

I had a friend once who was asked to record a video message for a wedding.  She too struggled with her weight and when she later caught sight of herself in the video, she had a mini meltdown - she was beside herself, because seeing those images made her feel ugly, stupid, worthless.  Which for any human being, is a pretty tough load to carry.  She made herself feel better by eating chocolate.  It worked....for a while.

The sad part is that when we're having that special meal or the extra helping, we forget all about that.  But then later, recrimination sets in.

Goodness, wouldn't it be fantastic to be FREE of all that junk? Free to see yourself on film, as the lovely person you are, free to be in family snaps...free to not feel worthless just because of some extra flab.

That is what I am working toward! When we conquer the mental battle, the physical stuff falls into place.

Saying no to 'comfort food'. Argghh!

Man, today was busy. I'm working on a huge project and today was non-stop running about. I was so looking forward to getting home and relaxing on the sofa.  For a nano second (ok, maybe more than that) I entertained the thought of cooking up a big bowl of spag Bol with a load of cheese and garlic bread.   The thought stuck with me, accompanied by 'Fat Girl's' little mantra, 'you deserve it, you need to relax tonight'.

Yeah, not so fast FG! 

I decided in that moment (quicker than I thought) that nope, I'm much rather eat decently, healthily and not shovel a comfort-fest into ye olde gob.  So I came home and I did the right thing and I'm

glad that I did.

I think this has to be a moment by moment thing. Planning a whole day is too hard...but I can just about make it to the next moment.

Which in reflection is pretty much how Jesus taught us to live anyway. 

Welcome to week 2! We can do it!

I think I've got this inner fat girl living in my head - she's the one who nudges me to eat in unhelpful ways, and then when I do, she yells at me and tells me I'm stupid and ugly and that I'll never lose weight.   Yeah, well, she is not a permanent resident!

My weekend was ok food-wise but could have been much better. I think, with the darker nights, there's less motivation to go out and walk too.   I had a lot on but was aware that driving home last night, I 'wanted something nibbly'.   Inner fat girl lets me think that Saturdays/Sundays are for 'treats'.   Anyway, decided to not give in and I didn't stop at the garage and buy junk (when inner fat girl says, 'you can start eating well again tomorrow...' she's lying!).

I had a bit of supper and went to bed and read a book.  I wasn't hungry at all...but I was hungry to eat rubbish.  Big difference!

So much of this journey is about learning to root out destructive thoughts before they've turned into actions.  The turnaround time at present, between thinking and heading to the fridge, is very short, but that will get longer and longer, as I learn to recognise what's real hunger and what's just plain old bad habits!

And so, week 2 begins.

Last week, I lost 2.5lbs, taking me down to 13.3 (1/2).  This week, I'd love to lose another 2lbs as well.  I realise this is about re-education not losing weight, as such...but being fitter, healthier and more in control of the junk I put in my gob, will lead to that too!

If you're on your own journey this week too, let me know and we can encourage each other. 

Eating honourably...

Today's super challenge was to get back on track and eat only when I was hungry. Mission accomplished!  

Also had a fantastic and inspiring day at church.  There is simply nothing we can go through, that Christ can't be at the centre of and help us with.  

And so a busy week beckons, but the fight goes on. My focus is not on losing weight, but just simply on eating well, in a way that honours God.

Have a great week everyone! 

Flunked the test...

First weekend eating this way and I didn't do that well.  I think it's just way easier when I'm in the weekly routine of work, but much harder when my day is less structured.   I seemed to sort of graze today, rather than eat proper meals.

Breakfast: 1.5 slices of tiger bread with butter and low fat soft cheese

Lunch: 2 x bowls homemade oyster mushroom soup. 2 bread rolls.

Dinner: (was still full from lunch): Doritos, sour cream.  

Supper:  1 x Food Doctor seeded pitta with slice of cheese & tomato.  3 squares of chocolate.

And oh, I made cupcakes and while I avoided eating one, I did have about 1 tablespoon of icing from the bowl.

So, all in all, a pretty poor carb-driven, un-nutritious day. And because there was so little real good content in it, I felt hungrier.  I'm in bed now & feel so hungry...even though I know I'm not.

And big mistake, I didn't once pray & ask God to help me.

Still, tomorrow is a brand new day.